If not now, when...

The significance of April 1. Spoiler: Not a fools day.

April 1st - a reoccurring date

April 1, 2021, I closed the door on a 10 year chapter of California life, drug my mattress to the curbside and drove away from Eastside Costa Mesa with nothing but
a couple of suitcases, my motorcycle, bicycle & headed Eastbound to Austin, Texas
in my 1989 Chevy Blazer.

As I combed through every mementos of my 20s, I had a profound discovery.
I flipped to a page that I wrote April 1, second holiday away from home, Easter 2013.

“I don’t second guess life here anymore, but I’ve realized I need home.
I need a life where I can go back a few weeks at a time. Make enough money to travel,
not just new places and new adventures but frequent trips home.
That’s whats important. Not becoming rich or climbing the corporate ladder.”

I quit my dream job, the one that moved me to California, April 1, 2016.
My last journal entry in that journal, April 1st, 2018.

I remember sobbing uncontrollably at this discovery. It felt like a gift from my younger self. A reminder that I was right on the path. My timing was right on time and I could do the hard things in life. The scary things.

To love. To be loved.
To Travel new places. To go home.
To make my own home.
To make a home with someone else.
To spend time with the people you love.
To enjoy the simple things.
To make memories.
To have traditions.
To find balance.
To live free.

While nothing significant happened April 1, 2023. I do believe something significant shifted inside of me that lead to my biggest change & year of growth to date.

Hotel Katie

In that very home in Costa Mesa, my friends nicknamed my house, Hotel Katie.
After all, curating a boutique hotel has been a dream of mine for as long as I remember. Then in a fever dream, Summer 2023, I fell in love with a house on the internet & now its mine. I have been spilling over with ideas since the move and as soon as I stepped through the door, I knew this was the home I could begin the next chapter of my creativity and growth.

I have 14 years of notes, ideas, journal entries, things squirreled away in the corners
of my brain I’m trying to get out “on paper” to see it. To release it. To share in dialogue about it. To release these ideas so they are no longer mine. They can go
on to be something else. They can no longer occupy space on my brain and make room for new.

I am becoming.

I remind myself of this often.

Today, I am stepping out of the shadows, quiet, yet chaotic, corners of my mind.
It will be messy and that’s okay.

Because this is a space to share, be vulnerable, create and inspire.

If this speaks to you too, even better, but for now…

I am becoming.

\(photo credit @wordsarevibrations \)

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